Jefe's House

Discarded robot head on moon.

First things first. NASA’s LCROSS “sensing satellite” was in fact a guided missile. It was sent not to kick up water vapor but to destroy the remnants of an ancient yet advanced alien mining operation before the Chinese get up there and get their hands on it. Mining for what? You guessed it: gold.

We already went up and garbage-picked through these technological remnants ourselves in 1969, bringing back samples which we reverse-engineered in order to build the Stealth Bomber, Freshen Up Gum, and Liquid Smoke.

Why would the aliens allow us to have this technology instead of just blasting the Earth to smithereens? Because of the 40-year treaty we signed with them on 7/21/69 in which they agreed to give us their discarded technology and we promised to stay the hell off the sun and to share our carbon combustion technology which exists nowhere else but on Earth. But this treaty expired in July, at which time all deals were off and the aliens began to flood our world markets with their advanced, fruit colored, eco-friendly gadgets (although some cause brain cancer because we have different skulls than they do) with ad jingles sung in high-pitched little girl indie-pop voices containing coded messages,  causing a worldwide economic meltdown but saving the planet.

Does this have anything to do with 2012? Yes, but it’s really 7/21/09. The worldwide takeover has already begun. We are in the End of Shopping Days.

What does any of this have to do with the Sasquatch? Plenty. More later. They’re tuning in to this transmission and this posting will be taken down any moment so spread the word, don’t go out, and keep watching the televised skies.

EOT

A favorite repost of mine from ASSME, now MediaElites.com.

Jeff’s Notes, In Which We Cover the Classics for You, starting with Herman Hesse’s der Steppenwolf.

Up first we’ll be discussing Steppenwolf, aka Der Steppenwolf, by Herman Hesse, which I just started to read a few days ago. Two things right off the bat:

1) Some of you will be disappointed to learn this is not a history of the greatest band of the 1960s, Steppenwolf, and that it was not written by Howard Hesseman.

However, I recently learned that Steppenwolf did take their name from the novel and was inspired to write their hit song Born to Be Wild because of it, which as you will see makes a lot of sense.

2) I personally was disappointed to learn this is not a book about a werewolf. In fact it has no supernatural elements at all!  Oh, there’s the occasional tease in which the word “werewolf” leaps off the page at you but it’s always a bogus metaphor…  continued here – http://mediaelites.com/2009/04/13/170/

A favorite repost of mine from ASSME, now MediaElites.com.

Jeff’s Notes, in Which We Cover the Classics for You.

Hawthorne’s The Blithedale Romance, in which a shitcanned writer tries to reform civilization.

Today’s recap: pp. 5-29.

The night before up-and-coming poet and single man about town Miles Coverdale’s departure for Blithedale, he’s gone to a taping of Lisa Williams’ Life Among the Dead show for Lifetime, known in Miles’ day as The Veiled Lady, at the local lyceum. It’s an act in which a young woman completely covered in a sheet stands offering cryptic answers to questions from the audience; you know, the kinds of answers that are intentionally so oblique as to be interpretable a thousand different ways. Miles, always up for a lark, asks her how things are going to turn out for him at Blithedale.? She gives him a typically Sibylline response along the lines of,  “I see a man…and another man…and a woman…no, several women…manure…rolling hills…there will be a war in the Middle East…an angry horse…stay out of the barn!”

Mildly amused and strolling home a creepier kind of foreshadowing happens to Miles… continued here, http://mediaelites.com/2009/05/08/the-simple-life-1/

The NYNF 2009 Benefit Is Here

Best Performance Artists of 2009, Village Voice

Best Ensemble, 2009 NY Independent Theatre Awards

Dearest Fans and General Public,

WHAT: New York Neo-Futurists 5 Year Benefit–a cocktail party and silent auction

WHEN: Monday, November 9, 2009,  7:00pm-10:00pm, New York City

WHERE: Bennett Media Studio, 723 Washington Street (between Bank St & 11th St), NYC.  This event will have all the things a typical 5-year-old’s birthday party would have: games, music, videos, a silent auction, alcohol.   Plus lots of surprises and performances from your favorite downtown non-illusory theater company featuring the best of our 5 year oeuvre.

WHY: The New York Neo-Futurists’ long-running Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind runs 50 weekends a year (that’s 100 shows), and turned 5 this year.  We’ve been having a hell of a terrific celebration what with the awards, press and launching a new show.  As Board President I invite you now to attend our first-ever benefit party on November 9th, a major fundraising effort for us featuring performances, plenty to drink, and a silent auction featuring high quality products, services and artwork.  These are no small potatoes, and this is going to be the hippest bash of the season, you have my word.  All the cool people are going. Are you going? The award-winning New York Neo-Futurists, a 501c3 nonprofit arts organization, don’t just do art for art’s sake, they also offer classes, do free public performances, fundraise regularly for organizations such as the Ali Forney Center for runaway gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teens in the West Village, and are a dynamic artistic presence in the rapidly commercializing East Village and NYU neighborhood.  They are worthy of some hard-earned, tax-deductible dollars from your socializing or philanthropic budget to help cover props, marketing, crew, rehearsal space rentals, and the hard-working  performers’ extremely modest salaries.

TAX-DEDUCTIBLE TICKETS:
$100, $250, $500 (with different swag at each level)

Tickets can be purchased here:
www.nyneofuturists.org/site/index.php?/site/benefit2009

Everyone who buys a ticket will be sent a letter after the benefit thanking you for your donation. The tax-deductible amount is the cost of your ticket minus $35. Individuals who purchase auction items or who make additional cash donations will also receive tax deduction letters.