Jefe's House

Sylvia Kauders

Dear Friends,

It’s my pleasure as a Plays & Players board member to invite you to the 3rd and final 100th anniversary reading and fundraiser next Monday 5/14 at 7pm.  All year long we’ve been presenting readings of plays that were performed at Plays & Players 100 years ago during its first season in 1911-12.

Blondell Reynolds Brown

This final reading is the most star-studded of them all.  The play is An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde, directed by Daniel Student, and features  features Sylvia Kauders (Witness, American Splendor, The Wrestler, Sex and the City, The Sopranos); Fox 29′s Good Day co-anchor Karen Hepp, City Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown, Revenue Commissioner Keith Richardson, restaurateur Jack Roe, Barrymore Award winning actors Madi Distefano and Amanda Schoonover; Joe Turner’s Come and Gone‘s Kash Goins and Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens creator Isaiah Zagar among others.

Karen Hepp

This final reading and fundraiser kicks off our Next 100 Years campaign to renovate and restore our beautiful old building which is a National Historic Landmark. For the past six months the acclaimed nonprofit Community Design Collaborative has been working with Plays & Players to create a 10-Year Master Plan with recommendations on sustainability and accessibility under the direction of Philadelphia’s leading architectural firm Studio Agoos Lovera.  The May 14 reading will feature raffle drawings, a silent auction, and a chance to hear about the Master Plan.

Tickets: 
$50 VIP – Reading and Meet the Cast post-show reception from 9-10pm at Quig’s Pub

$25 – Reading

$10 – Reading artist/industry ticket

PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE NOW

*
Did anyone catch last night’s disappointing PBS Nova special on dreams? I’d hoped it would be an update to the common scientific wisdom from when I was growing up (random neurons firing; the waking mind tries to make sense of it) but guess what? The new “advancements” tell us that dreams happen — are you ready for this? — when you’re worried about something; it’s you working something out that you feel anxious about.

Really? Really, guys? You mean like Freud said?  Or it might be that, as one scientist’s theory goes, “we’ve inherited nightmares from our ancestors,” which seems awfully collective unconscious and Jungian to me.

But none of these “brain scientists” will dare mention Freud and Jung in the same breath as their own research.  Apparently, they’d rather use the hocus pocus of fake science to arrive at the same theories as the psychologists they likely disdain. Or they’re just blatantly ripping psychology off because they have nothing new to tell us but perhaps they need to keep getting grant money to do sleep studies.  One scientist ineptly demonstrates that if you play a new videogame a whole bunch of times and aren’t very good at it, then leave it alone for awhile and go to bed, then get up the next day fresh and show a slight skill improvement, it must be because you dreamed about it.  (This phenomenon is also called practice.)

Maybe Matthew Wilson of MIT was good — he’s actually figured out what rats dream about (they have anxiety dreams about being stuck in mazes after being stuck in mazes all day in their waking life) — but he was the only one with any credibility. The others may as well just call themselves therapists and get it over with; not that there’s anything wrong with therapy. I’m just all for calling a spade a spade.  While this show pretended to describe new advancements to dream research we’re really back to square 1 with Freud, Jung and Native American shamans interpreting dreams based on folk beliefs (I’m all for that, too).

Where’m I going with all this? Conclusion: you should come and see some good inept dream interpretation at work in my Philadelphia show this September. And remember there will be prizes every night including free inept dream interpretation sessions with the man himself, me.  You don’t need no stinking sleep scientists.  I am the man who will help you.  I am that person.  Now go like Beautiful Zion: A Book of the Dead on Facebook.

Peter Falk and Gina Rowlands as the unforgettable Nick and Mabel.

Sad to read today that Peter Falk had died. Most people know him as Columbo but a relative few know him from such films as John Cassavetes’ A Woman Under the Influence. Most Columbo fans also don’t know that he helped finance this independent uberfilm with earnings from playing Columbo.  Why would  he do that?  So he could act, naturally; something for which Columbo didn’t much allow.

Peter Falk in Wings of Desire

It’s unfortunate that he’s better known in Europe than in his home country for his stellar non-Columbo roles (see Wings of Desire) but such is the wonderworking power of television.

Thanks, Mr. Falk. I grew up with you in more ways than one.

[image via filmref.com and peterfalk.com]

Alright. I will blow my own psychic trumpet – if I can reach it.  Here goes…

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
Paris Hilton will become increasingly orange, and will be found dead from a cocaine-heroin cocktail overdose in the Malibu home of a close friend.

Martin Scorsese will make a new movie stereotyping Italians.

Robert DeNiro will phone in another comedy performance to keep the bills paid.

Woody Allen will make one more movie whining about the fact that his life is meaningless and his ego too fragile to take it just in case we haven’t been paying attention.  To prove his point, he’ll pull the negationist stunt of divorcing Soon-Yi and marrying one of his other children.

Charlie Sheen’s antics will continue to be hilarious. Oh, his TV show will also stay pretty funny.

Broadway will remain racially segregated, with investors maintaining that Separate But Equal works really well in theatre, so why tinker with it? Tourists will agree with them wholeheartedly.

Off Broadway will continue rolling out redundant domestic dramas about the trials and tribulations of white families, some of whom are struggling exploitatively with their homosexuality, some exploitatively with their children’s homosexuality, others with prescription drug addiction, still others with a general suburban ennui.  Hasn’t the gay community been stereotyped enough?

Off Off Broadway will remain the last bastion of truly cutting edge professional, noncommercially-driven theatre, which unfortunately most tourists either won’t learn about or will be too afraid to take their kids downtown or to Brooklyn  to see, or will continue in their mistaken belief that Off Off is synonymous with amateur.  To combat this, the tired phrase “Off Off Broadway theatre” will finally be dropped by the media and replaced with “independent theatre,” making it appropriately analagous to independent film.

BOOKS
Memoirs by overprivileged yet sheltered white ladies who traveled alone abroad for the first time, and had unlifechanging experiences which they contend were sublime, will finally stop being published.

SPORTS
NFL and SPCA legend Michael Vick, the OJ Simpson of animal abuse, will get caught in another imbroglio involving violent cruelty to a living thing weaker than himself, and it will involve illegal gambling. To help boost his reputation, Vick will open a Vick’s Pet Care pet-sitting service in Philadelphia.

JOURNALISM
“Aks” will become standard English for the proper way to spell “ask.”

The nonsensical “for all intensive purposes” will become an increasingly acceptable idiom, replacing the more traditional and more logical “for all intents and purposes,” which just sounds too old-fashioned even though it actually makes sense.

“Repel” and “repeal” will continue to gain acceptance as synonyms.

The nonexistent word “insiduous” will replace “insidious.”

No one will help us out of this mess, and schools will only reinforce these absurd grammatical changes.

AMERICA’S OBESITY CRISIS
The discredited 1970s’ 4-4-3-2 nutrition plan will be resurrected by the US Department of Agriculture as a normal, healthy diet given that most Americans adhere to it anyway. Did you know that pizza with everything is a healthy meal, containing items from the milk group, meat group, fruits & vegetables group, and breads & cereals group?  So is a Whopper.

WORLD
There will be continued violence in the Middle East. There will be continued violence in Africa. The sky will continue to be blue, the trees green.

European anarchist groups will continue to work together with increasingly sophisticated coordination, destroying the economic system, plunging us into their much hoped for post-apocalyptic, feudalistic society.  They will declare the date to be Year Zero. Farms will be seized and “collectivized,” after which mass starvation and gang violence will rule the day. Frazzled anarchist leaders will then call upon the police and military to restore order, and then they will request loans from multinational banks to rebuild all the roads, trains and hospitals they destroyed in order to liberate all of us.

POLITICS
Millions of working Americans will begin to feel and appreciate the benefits of Obama’s healthcare plan but will continue to complain that socialist Obama has screwed up the country.  Obama, unfazed, will prepare for a 2012 landslide reelection.  I also predict that I will be one of those voting for him again.

A major world leader will announce not only a cutesy belief in the possibility of extraterrestrials, but will insist with all seriousness during a press conference that he has seen ETs himself. The Vatican will immediately back him up. This will all be part of preparing us for 2012 when things are really gonna get all alieny up in here.

SCIENCE
Bigfoot sightings will become increasingly fashionable. A theoretical link between Bigfoots and the newly announced ETs (see above) will gain ground among top scientists.

Happy New Year, everybody. God bless us, every one.

[image via psychic-junkie.com]

Now that dog-fighting, dog-drowning Mike Vick has expressed televised contrition, received punishment, been washed in the blood of the Media, redeemed and welcomed back into the fold – yes, he’s a born again athlete, 21st century style – it’s time to hear from you, gentle congregants, and for Vick’s supporters to put their doggies where their mouths are.  And really, Obama? Really? A contragulatory call?  I still heart you Barack but please. This is only going to come back to bite you (pun intended) because MV’s not through yet; he might be done with dogs but that leaves spouses, girlfriends, kids…Yes, this is all only my opinion but I am a registered, licensed armchair psychiatrist and I know chronic, psychotic behavior when I see it, and I know it doesn’t go away magically.

[images via mugshots.com and blackyouthproject.com]

Oh well, MTV Desi has me pegged.  They’re exactly right about me but at least they acknowledge that I also acknowledge that I am one more gawking American.

And I can’t complain about being named an honorary Desi, sort of.

New York Press Delves Into the Paan Game
by Abdullah

When I first saw the headline “Confessions of a White, Middle-Aged Paan Eater” on the cover of this week’s New York Press, naturally, I grabbed a copy and asked myself the question you’re asking yourself right now; What the hell is the New York Press?   Well, it’s a paper that’s running a cover story about something inherently Desi that’s breaking into mainstream culture. And why not? It didn’t take long for Americans to adopt the more… CONT’D AT MTVDESI.COM>> 

The Asia Society also commented and was a tad less snarky than MTV (but who am I to complain about being snarky in a blog post from time to time, eh?).

A Paean to Paan
by Aliya Sabharwal

…From describing his initiation into the practice of paan-chewing to drawing interesting comparisons to the tobacco-dipping culture of his Appalachian relatives, Stanley seems to have seriously and diligently researched this “local” practice. But the result is a riot for those familiar with paan chewing or chewers, if only for the novelty of reading an eloquent homage to the substance.  CONT’D AT ASIASOCIETY.ORG>>

Well, now it’s just too much. My paan habit has also made the celebrity gossip page of India Abroad, the major newspaper for Indian expats around the world, getting top billing over Tom Cruise’s tweets to Anil Kapoor (see p. 6).  I’m truly honored and humbled.

Jeffrey Stanley is Addicted to Paan…CONT’D AT INDIA ABROAD>>

[images via mtvdesi.com, asiasociety.org, and indiaabroad-digital.com]

In your mourning for the great Tony Curtis please throw up a little prayer for another Hollywood legend of sorts, Sally Menke, known primarily as “Quentin Tarantino’s editor.” I still have fond memories of my first year as an NYU Tisch Film & TV undegrad interning for Sally in her at-home, SoHo editing suite around 1988-89, thanks to her friendship with my incredible production professor and future friend Carol Dysinger.  Fresh off the turnip truck, I really felt like a bigshot.  Sally was the editor for hit TV show The Equalizer of which I was a big fan. I remember bringing home some 35mm frames of Edward Woodward from the trim bin to add to my memory box.  I probably still have them tucked away in an envelope someplace where by now they’re cracked, brittle and turning to dust…

Thank you, Sally, for your patience and kindness with this nervous, bungling kid.

Sally Menke: 1953 – 2010

By Brian Brooks and Nigel M. Smith (September 28, 2010)

Quentin Tarantino’s longtime film editor, Sally Menke, was discovered dead early this morning near Griffith Park in Los Angeles. The Los Angeles Times reported that Menke had gone hiking in the morning, and friends alerted police after she failed to come home. Her body was found by searchers in Beachwood Canyon.  Born in Mineola, New York in 1953, Menke graduated from the NYU Film program at the Tisch School of the Arts… CONT’D AT INDIEWIRE.COM>>

[photos via museum.tv and indiewire.com]

That’s it. I am literally never going to listen to the radio, watch TV or read news stories on the Internet ever again. Literally. I am literally going to gouge out my eyeballs with a ballpoint pen.  Literally.

NBC Dateline segment Follow the Money, 5/2/10 (rerun, originally aired Nov. 2009):

SGT. JAMES PEREZ OF FAIRFIELD, CT:  She’s so close. She could almost see the money. She can smell it, she can taste it in her bank account.

CHRIS HANSEN: The scammers managed to get Shireen to be emotionally invested here.

SGT. PEREZ: Right. They’re literally pulling the puppet strings.

No, Sergeant, the Nigerian email scammers are figuratively pulling the puppet strings, that’s your point. They did not literally have strings tied around Shireen’s joints controlling her arm, leg and head movements.

Next up, NPR’s All Things Considered segment on the government’s Minerals Management Agency (5/11/10), which sells leases for oil and gas production. 

For the exploding Gulf rig the agency gave BP a Categorical Exclusion, “which means there is no public review, no scientific analysis, no discussion of alternatives…it’s literally a rubber stamp process,” said Bill Snapes, Chief Counsel for Center for Biological Diversity, an environmental group.

No, Bill, it’s figuratively a rubber stamp process, that’s your point. I don’t think the MMA literally inked CATEGORICAL EXCLUSION – APPROVED onto a series of BP’s mimeographed  lease documents with a big rubber stamp.

And lastly, this AP story about “Crude” documentary filmmaker Joe Berlinger being ordered to hand over footage regarding a long-running legal case against Chevron in Equador (5/7/10):

Chevron lawyer Randy Mastro…said it was not a case about the First Amendment. “It’s a case about a lawyer who decided he wanted to star in a movie,” he said. “It is literally candid camera.”

No, Randy, it’s figuratively Candid Camera, that’s your point.  Was the lawyer in the documentary shown shooting a TV show hosted by a Funt and featuring actors pulling good-natured practical jokes on unsuspecting dupes?  No, Randy, he wasn’t.

[pictures via amazon.com, sentinelprint.com and seattleweekly.com]

Originally posted 3/4/10 by jefevonstanley on MediaElites.com.

Mark Stansberry's hoping Puddin can bring home the bacon.

So I’m on the 3 train yesterday morning creeping towards Brooklyn when a guy comes on around Chambers Street with, “Excuse me ladies and gentlemen…” which I would have immediately tuned out except he was right in front of me. Turns out he’s not soliciting donations nor is he part of a haggard, hat-passing do-wop quartet. He’s an animator and filmmaker. No wonder he’s broke.

He explains that he’s created a “kid and family friendly” cartoon called Puddin, (“Pictured here,” he said, gesturing grandly to his professionally silk-screened Puddin t-shirt), about a little girl growing up in Brooklyn in the early ’70s. He’s got a duffle bag full of DVDs containing six brief episodes, “and these are not flash animations, these are not computer generated, they are hand drawn by my colleagues and me. Over 25,000 hand drawings…” This filmmaker-huckster’s name is Mark Stansberry.

Long story short I dug up a Washington and bought one of the Stansberry-autographed Ghett-O-Gram Films (yes) discs and checked it out.  Continued at http://mediaelites.com/2010/03/04/roll-over-fat-albert-tell-charlie-brown-the-news-70s-rb-meets-childrens-animation-in-puddin/

A favorite repost of mine from ASSME, now MediaElites.com.

“Does beating up girls make you feel like a big man?”? Ice-T menacingly asks a teenage suspect on the teaser currently running on NBC for Tuesday night’s SVU episode. He oughta know the answer to that already.

I saw this today and it made me flash back 18 years to Lollapalooza 1991, the festival’s inaugural year, Waterloo Village, NJ where I attended the show with my then-girlfriend.? When Ice-T & Body Count came onstage he said something like this to rev up the crowd… continued here, http://mediaelites.com/2009/05/03/time-wounds-all-heals/