Jefe's House

Cardinal Angelo Scola. Photo via worldcrunch.com.

Well, we know it’s going to be a white-haired European so that rules out the American (everyone would cry foul and say the US government secretly arranged to have him installed in their continuing effort at ruling the world) , the Mexican (no way), the Canadian (never), the Brazilian (impossible) and leaves only the Italian. I know, I know, they’re under pressure to pick the Mexican or the Brazilian to better reflect their current constituency but the Vatican’s never been one to bow to pressure from their own followers so my money’s on the Italian (pictured left). Also he looks the most Papal.  I’m just going by headshots alone here in making my psychic prediction. It’s as good a way as any.

If it does turn out to be Scherer then I’m telling you right now for the record that I own the headline VATICAN GETS A BRAZILIAN.  Remember you heard that here first before it’s stolen by the writers working for Seth Meyers or John Stewart.