Jefe's House

Now we know why they stressed right off the bat that Santa Claus had been “shot in the head.” It’s so they can never be obligated to show clean and clear proof that they actually killed him last week (because anyone can tell you that Santa Claus, if he ever existed, was killed years ago).  And wasn’t he diabetic?  Yet no dialysis machines turned up at the compound.  Strange.  The convenient “shot in the head” excuse was backed up today when the White House also informed us that he was “shot above the left eye” and that part of his skull had been “blown away,” making any facial recognition impossible and precluding the need to release a photo. Except perhaps a snapshot sooner or later where he’s conveniently unrecognizable and we’ll just have to take their word for it.

Perfect. Although there’s a nice photo floating around anyway. Only problem is,  it’s a fake that’s been floating around for months.  No matter; whatever else does get released will also be a fake.

We also learned when the story first broke that “a woman” had been killed.  Compare this to the extensive coverage of the death of Qaddafi’s sons and grandchildren last week — we got names, ages, full journalistic access to the compound. Even the death of Saddam Hussein’s (you know,  Santa Claus’ supposed partner in criminal masterminding) sons deaths were given full coverage and proof. Wouldn’t that also have been inflammatory and encourage retaliation from Santa’s elves?  Ditto the execution of Saddam himself; and note that Saddam was buried in his hometown and, lo and behold, his grave hasn’t become a “shrine for terrorists.”  But Santa Claus is different, I guess.

And if they’re so excited with the “mother lode” of data they brought out of Santa’s compound, why on earth would they instantly kill, rather than apprehend, a high value target like Kris Kringle? Not even a brief trip to a black ops site for a little waterboarding to find out exactly what the criminal genius knew and might have been planning?

But alas, everyone from Fox News to PBS are going straight to the CIA, and only the CIA, to find out what happened. That’s like interviewing the fox to find out what exactly went on in the henhouse.  Then there’s CIA Director Panetta on PBS tonight talking about his access to the “real-time video feed” of the events at Santa’s compound, while Obama in the White House also watched a real-time feed. But –aw, dang– neither of them saw the real-time moment when Père Noël was killed because that part didn’t get transmitted. In other words there are no eyewitnesses available to describe exactly what happened.

Obama 2012 by a landslide. Remember I predicted it here first.

[images via astalo.deviantart.com and prisonplanet.com]

I have never once in my life heard someone say something positive about their health insurance. Have you?  Literally everyone I have ever discussed it with has had only complaints about their insurance company and their coverage, or lack thereof.  Health care reform finally takes a step toward catching us up with the rest of the western world, provides affordable coverage for nearly all Americans, and saves the country a trillion bucks over the next decade.

I found it hilarious during the final weeks before passage that Republicans took the stance that the bill needed to be scrapped and started anew, because suddenly they had decided after years of stonewalling that they had great ideas for how to enact health reform — absolutely laughable, and, as usual from this party, too little, too late.  Finally, the American people, and not the Republicans’ cronies in the insurance industry, won out.  Chalk one up to the little guy.

Too bad the populist Teabaggers can’t figure this out and throw their growing weight fully behind nationalized health care rather than carrying around misspelled placards comparing Obama to Hitler, when their own ranks appear to be filled with racists.  Insurance companies are finally being reigned in, and will no longer be able to hike up their premiums, and overcharge seniors and the other most vulnerable segments of our society.

(Okay, he does play too much golf and is probably a tit-for-tat prick in his personal relationships. I didn't say he could do no wrong.)

I am an independent voter, not a Democrat or a Republican or a member of any party.  I vote my conscience, and I voted for centrist Democrat Obama, but  I don’t agree fully with him on all issues.  I loathe some of his thinking,  but I’ll give him this: he is a man of his word, and has time and again — on Iraq, on Afghanistan, on health care reform, on offshore drilling, on repealing ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ on Guantanamo, on financial overhaul – taken concrete steps to achieve, or earnestly try to achieve, exactly what he promised to do when he ran for president.  He has disappointed me at times but has never once, so far, made me feel that he was lying to me, and for a politician this is truly rare.  Would that I could say the same for Wild Bill Clinton or the Bush crime family.

As soon as I catch Obama telling me a lie you’ll be the first to know.

[Photos swiped from barackobama.com and the Telegraph].

[The story below is a parody (just barely) of today's AP story here.]

How can you tell a real Teabagger from a fake Teabagger?  The Teabaggers are having trouble with this one themselves but it all comes down to spelling, grammar and race.

Organizers of tax-day tea parties are preparing for their biggest day of the year today, as thousands of Teabaggers participate in local rallies against high taxes, big government spending, and the fact that they were never taught English.  They are particularly infuriated that poor immigrants are also following the predominantly rich, white Teabaggers’ lead and not bothering to learn English.

Teabag leaders are striving to keep the rallies from presenting an image of themselves as fringe extremists obsessed with hateful, misspelled messages. Sensitive that poor public perception could sink their movement, some rally planners have uninvited beloved speakers, beefed up security and urged participants to find a Democrat to spell-check their signs before they head out to rallies.

Organizers want to project a peaceful, literate image, so many of them are moving their Teabag events to exclusive country clubs to keep out their own party members. “We are screening every entrant in order to separate the mainstream racists who are part of our group from the fringe racists who are not part of our group,” said one Teabagger activist.

“What’s at stake is showing various government officials of both parties that rich, white conservative, married men are concerned,” said Tom Hegel, an adjunct political science professor at the University of Idaho. “That’s why it’s important that we doesn’t have distractions caused by our core membership of functionally illiterate bigots.”

The tea party took a recent publicity hit when three black Democratic congressmen said they heard racial slurs as they walked through thousands of health care protesters — many of them Teabaggers — outside the U.S. Capitol on March 20. Some Teabaggers insist it never happened.

But it’s not the only racially charged incident. A photo posted on Flickr, which has attracted Internet chatter, shows a white man carrying a sign that says: “Obama’s Plan White Slavery.” The photo claims to have been shot at a tea party rally last year in Madison, Wisconsin. Hegel dismisses this photo. ‘There’s no way it was one of us. You can tell because it was spelt properlike,” he said.

Cindy Goebbels, who put together a tea party rally at a park in Rochester, Minn., said organizers have brought in more security and put local police on alert. “We just want to make sure the press isn’t getting access to the people who actually support us and attend our events,” she said.

[Photos swiped from NYDailyNews and Flickr.]

I sang that then and I’ll sing it again. I was saying it in 2007 when directing a small revival of Sam Shepard’s The God of Hell, a 2004 anti-Bush play yes, but as I told the cast then, it’s a play about big government gone out of control and extends beyond Bush. I told them electing a Democrat isn’t gonna get us out of the Middle East, and that therefore this diabolical little play will remain relevant for years to come. At least Obama was up front in his platform from the outset.

I guarantee you someone out there’s printing up bumper stickers right now that read Nobomba, and they’ll sell like hotcakes to the same disillusioned liberals who put him in office. I am one of those people who put him in office and I’m proud of it. I still proudly display my Obama-Biden ’08 bumper sticker on my front door, but I’m no fool, and I never supported all he stood for. One delusion lots of his supporters seem to suddenly suffer from is that he claimed to be some sort of peace bringer, the antithesis of warmonger Bush, when this was never the case. Do you all, my fellow Obama voters, have amnesia? You’re intelligent people, I know you are. So why have you forgotten that going into Afghanistan was part of his platform all along? Don’t you remember his constant stumping that under Bush we “took our eye off the ball” in Afghanistan?

These past months of his “deliberation” about whether to send more troops and the right’s attacking his military “indecisiveness” have all been rhetoric and theatre. He knew, the right knew, and I for one knew (and come on, be honest, Obama fans, you knew, too), what his decision would be all along. At least credit him on this point for delivering the change he promised, whether you agree with that change or not: we’re getting out of Iraq and going into Afghanistan. The times they are a’changin’. And a’stayin’ the same. And deep down you knowed they would.

He is also working to stop torture, to close Guantanamo, and has been pushing relentlessly on health care reform, no? Give him a break and don’t burn your Obama t-shirts just yet.