Now we know why they stressed right off the bat that Santa Claus had been “shot in the head.” It’s so they can never be obligated to show clean and clear proof that they actually killed him last week (because anyone can tell you that Santa Claus, if he ever existed, was killed years ago). And wasn’t he diabetic? Yet no dialysis machines turned up at the compound. Strange. The convenient “shot in the head” excuse was backed up today when the White House also informed us that he was “shot above the left eye” and that part of his skull had been “blown away,” making any facial recognition impossible and precluding the need to release a photo. Except perhaps a snapshot sooner or later where he’s conveniently unrecognizable and we’ll just have to take their word for it.
Perfect. Although there’s a nice photo floating around anyway. Only problem is, it’s a fake that’s been floating around for months. No matter; whatever else does get released will also be a fake.
We also learned when the story first broke that “a woman” had been killed. Compare this to the extensive coverage of the death of Qaddafi’s sons and grandchildren last week — we got names, ages, full journalistic access to the compound. Even the death of Saddam Hussein’s (you know, Santa Claus’ supposed partner in criminal masterminding) sons deaths were given full coverage and proof. Wouldn’t that also have been inflammatory and encourage retaliation from Santa’s elves? Ditto the execution of Saddam himself; and note that Saddam was buried in his hometown and, lo and behold, his grave hasn’t become a “shrine for terrorists.” But Santa Claus is different, I guess.
And if they’re so excited with the “mother lode” of data they brought out of Santa’s compound, why on earth would they instantly kill, rather than apprehend, a high value target like Kris Kringle? Not even a brief trip to a black ops site for a little waterboarding to find out exactly what the criminal genius knew and might have been planning?
But alas, everyone from Fox News to PBS are going straight to the CIA, and only the CIA, to find out what happened. That’s like interviewing the fox to find out what exactly went on in the henhouse. Then there’s CIA Director Panetta on PBS tonight talking about his access to the “real-time video feed” of the events at Santa’s compound, while Obama in the White House also watched a real-time feed. But –aw, dang– neither of them saw the real-time moment when Père Noël was killed because that part didn’t get transmitted. In other words there are no eyewitnesses available to describe exactly what happened.
Obama 2012 by a landslide. Remember I predicted it here first.
[images via astalo.deviantart.com and prisonplanet.com]