Jefe's House

Tag: vatican

Yoga Declared Satanic

by on Jan.06, 2014, under Shaheb Cafe, The Truth Is In Here

Pope Francis is rumored to have performed an exorcism during a Mass in St Peter’s Square last May. [Photo via telegraph.co.uk.]

Beware, yoga practitioners:  your sun salutations and downward dogs might lead to harder things . . . like Hinduism.  Father Francesco Bamonte, who heads the Italy-based International Association of Exorcists, warns the world that yoga is a gateway to demonic possession. More in the London Telegraph‘s recent article,  ‘Rise of Exorcists in the Catholic Church‘, in which we learn the Vatican has launched a program to train a global strike force of devil exterminators.

Don’t worry, you can always do Christ-centered stretching from now on to out-maneuver Beelzebub, like the kind offered at Christ Centered Yoga in Norcross, GA or Yahweh Yoga in Chandler, AZ.

I for one am eagerly awaiting Christ-centered Kama Sutra classes.

 

 

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Let the Pope-off Begin

by on Mar.12, 2013, under Politics

Cardinal Angelo Scola. Photo via worldcrunch.com.

Well, we know it’s going to be a white-haired European so that rules out the American (everyone would cry foul and say the US government secretly arranged to have him installed in their continuing effort at ruling the world) , the Mexican (no way), the Canadian (never), the Brazilian (impossible) and leaves only the Italian. I know, I know, they’re under pressure to pick the Mexican or the Brazilian to better reflect their current constituency but the Vatican’s never been one to bow to pressure from their own followers so my money’s on the Italian (pictured left). Also he looks the most Papal.  I’m just going by headshots alone here in making my psychic prediction. It’s as good a way as any.

If it does turn out to be Scherer then I’m telling you right now for the record that I own the headline VATICAN GETS A BRAZILIAN.  Remember you heard that here first before it’s stolen by the writers working for Seth Meyers or John Stewart.

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